Something Campy This Way Comes

Tonight I ventured out of my little cave to go see Machete. As its a Robert Rodriguez film that wasn't co-written by Tarantino, I wasn't expecting lots of snappy dialogue and witty banter, but more gratuitous violence and silly one liners..........and maybe some tits. I got all these things and more. The movie was exactly what the "fake" trailer before Planet Terror that I watched three years ago promised, Danny Trejo playing the baddest Mexican ever to live on a revenge kick. What I didn't expect was for Rodriguez to take over for Tarantino in the "making actors everyone forgot about and make them relevant" department. The movie had not only Steven Segall but also Don Johnson which totally ruins my what I named my penis joke (Don Johnson, cause hes still awesome, hes just not in anything these days). As for plot, its almost non-existent but thats not why you see a film like this. You see a movie like this for campy violence, bloodspray (and good Lord was there alot of it), and the forgone conclusion that there will be nudity (by the by if you were wondering what Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba look like naked....wish granted). There are multiple decapitations, a car crash and a nude girl pulling a cell phone out of....well you figure it out, and thats all before the movie title even comes up. Also if you loved the preview during Planet Terror, every single shot from that made it into this film. This movie was amazing.

The weird thing about dreams

So I just decided to use this thing as more of a dumpster for my interior monologue. Sure I'll still do reviews of things and what not, but mostly this is gonna be the floatsom and jetsom of my brain. So anyway, the last few nights I've been having weird dreams about redheads. Two nights ago I dreamed that a red head gave me some sort of omni-locket, it had spaces for nine or so pictures, and all of them were filled with images of people or places from my life, but none of them were people or places that had any major impact. Last nights dream was about me getting married to some redhead I've never even met. We were having the reception before the actual wedding, and when I couldn't find my bride to be, no one I asked would make eye contact with me, and when I finally found her, she was blowing an usher. The weirdest thing was that I wasn't even hurt, I didn't even care. What the hell is going on in my head?

Who needs super powers?

Last weekend I saw two not so super hero movies, and here are my reviews.

Kick Ass: This movie was simply amazing. Now I went into it having never read the comic, so I wasn't one hundred percent sure what to expect. The acting was fantastic, the shots they did were beautiful, but most of all the plot was amazing. The entire movie had a great amount of quick wit, some slapstick, and general goofiness that made it really fun to watch. Nick Cages character Big Daddy and Chloe Moretz's character Hit Girl stole the entire movie. The action sequences were improbable but amazing, and I honestly believe that seeing some of the sequences that were in that film has enhanced my life. See this movie, now.

Defendor: This just came out on dvd and I thought it was just someone taking the kick ass idea and beating them to the punch. I was incorrect. This was not an action movie or a comedy. It was a drama that happened to have one or two funny lines. Woody Harrelson has an amazing performance as Defendor, a man who seems to have a slight mental handicap, but seems determined to fight crime and locate the sinister "Captain Industry". Sounds stupid right. Still as the movie progresses you get a look into how this mans life is completely screwed up, how some people take advantage of his mental deficiencies, and how other people either like or pity him. The man is so pathetic as to be pitiable, yet he seems to be stronger than every other character in the film. Overall the whole thing is rather touching and well written. Not necessarily a must see, but it won't hurt you to watch.

Things you should check out.

Movies: If you get a chance check out How to Train Your Dragon. The animation was really good, the plot was good, the dragons were nicely done, and there were some good voice actors signed on for it (Gerard Butler and Craig Ferguson among them).

Books: If you haven't read World War Z yet, do so. Max Brooks (author of the Zombie Survival Guide) writes out an oral history of the great zombie war. Amazing book due to the sheer range of human emotion covered. brooks describes people who are opportunists, mercenaries, everyday joes, and soldiers. The range of emotion he puts into these characters makes all of them completely believable. Most of them seem like people you could meet on the street. Also the way he describes mankind changing its military innovation to deal with a zombie threat is interesting.

Games: Ok here's the super nerd section. Wyrd miniatures finally developed a game for the beautiful minis they've been putting out for years. Its called Malifaux, and it's a pretty far cry from other miniatures games you may have played. Instead of dice, it uses a card based system to determine everything. its kind of hard to explain, but in order to make an action you flip a card, add the models stats to the number and then see if it takes affect. Vastly different system but still pretty cool. Also the fiction in the main book is pretty interesting.

The Opopanax has gone online.

Welcome friends and enemies alike to the new Opopanax. It's been years since we've had anything resembling an update because printing costs got high and troublesome for some of our distribution people, God bless them. Still in digital format it should be alot easier.